Humble inquiry is a secret weapon for leaders that empowers people and builds meaningful relationships. It is about building openness and trust by asking questions rather than telling.
For many people, this is a challenging skill to learn. The default communication style for the majority of people is to tell rather than ask questions. Excessive telling can dominate a conversation essentially limiting the possibility of open communication.
In your career, can you recall a manager who did a lot of telling instead of asking questions? How did it feel to be “told” to do something by that manager, versus getting asked your thoughts on the best way to proceed with a project or problem? Did you feel shut down, disempowered, or like you didn’t have a voice?
This approach leads to frustrated employees, disengagement, and in some cases quitting the job.
I am not stating that leaders should only ask questions instead of telling. There are many instances where telling is the appropriate action. What I am stating though is to assess opportunities when asking questions would benefit the conversation and relationship more than telling.
What Is The Purpose Of Humble Inquiry?
I find that most often leaders get into the positions they were in today by being strong individual contributors. One fundamental behavior of strong individual contributors (among many others) is their ability to effectively delegate and “tell” to achieve successful results.
It makes sense to think that carrying this behavior of “telling” into a leadership position will yield similar results. Unfortunately, this can have the opposite effect where people can feel like they have less of a voice.
In an article published by Forbes Magazine, they found that “Employees who feel their voice is heard are 4.6 times more likely to feel empowered to perform their best work”. Empowered employees are 67 percent more willing to put in extra effort on the job.
They’re also more willing to innovate and take the creative risks that help drive business growth and revenue gains. Practicing humble inquiry and asking open-ended questions are key strategies for empowering people.
Edward Shein, author of Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling, articulates the power of asking questions. He states that “Questions are taken for granted rather than given a starring role in the human drama….. What builds a relationship, what solves problems, what moves things forward is asking the right questions.”
Practicing humble inquiry has been a game-changer in my various roles as a leader. It has helped me to quickly build meaningful and close relationships with people I’ve just met. Furthermore, for the people I have led, it has created opportunities for them to produce their best work.
The Benefits of Using Humble Inquiry
While telling is unidirectional, asking questions creates a bi-directional dialogue. Dialogue is a key building block for forming relationships.
Practice this often enough with the people you work with and some amazing things will happen.
I have coached many leaders to develop this skill. As a result, most of those leaders have said they experienced huge improvements in their working relationships. Here are some examples of results I have heard from them:
- A previously tense relationship flourished into a collaborative one
- Team members felt more comfortable talking to them (their leader) to openly share concerns and ideas
- Peers felt like they had someone they could go to for moral support
- The leaders were able to build more trusting relationships with their teams
- Team members commented that their mental health improved because they felt empowered and more engaged in the work
- The rate of problem-solving on the team grew exponentially
Leaders practicing humble inquiry was truly a secret weapon for creating more empowerment and engaging their employees more in the work.
How Do You Do Humble Inquiry?
Practicing humble inquiry can take a bit of practice to become good at, but it’s well worth the effort. It starts with having a genuine sense of curiosity and desire to learn more from the people you work with. It also entails being aware of the different types of questions you can ask. Below are the 3 most common categories of questions that people typically ask:
Close-ended questions
These are questions that can only be answered by a limited number of answers. Think yes or no questions or giving a choice between a handful of options. These questions typically don’t create dialogue and make it more difficult to pull out insights and perspectives of the people you are talking to.
Leading questions
These types of questions are asked in a way that prompts the response YOU are looking for. They are not effective at building relationships and can make the person you are talking to uncomfortable. Additionally, it makes the person you are talking to feel like they have to ask the question in a certain way. I strongly recommend not asking too many of these types of questions.
Open-ended questions
These are questions that can not be answered with a simple yes/no and give the person space to elaborate on their thoughts. Practicing humble inquiry and asking open-ended questions are synonymous. These types of questions show people that you care about their insight, build relationships, and build empowerment.
See the infographic below for different examples of questions in each category:
Can you see the nuanced differences in the types of questions? I guarantee that by asking open-ended questions you will gain so much more insight into the perspectives of others.
The Socratic Method
Another great resource for learning how to ask open-ended questions is the Socratic Method. It is a ridiculously useful and effective approach to help your team members practice critical thinking in an open dialogue. Check out the 3-minute video below to learn about the Socratic Method simplified:
Additional Humble Inquiry Prompters
To help you get started with practicing humble inquiry, here are some prompters I’ve used to ask open-ended questions:
- Can you say more about……?
- How did you feel about…..?
- Why do you think that is happening?
- Help me understand……
- What do you want to try next?
- How can I better support you to do x……?
Conclusion
Practicing humble inquiry is a powerful way to build strong and meaningful relationships. Be humble by staying curious and conveying that you want to learn. Inquire using open-ended questions that create dialogue and empower your teams.
Be mindful of how much “telling” you are doing. Remember, the goal is not to exclusively ask questions but identify opportunities where it may be a more beneficial approach than telling.
Try to limit the amount of close-ended and leading questions you ask. Reference the humble inquiry prompters above to quickly get in the mindset of practicing humble inquiry.
As stated above, leading with humble inquiry has been a game-changer in my role. I encourage you to learn by doing and try this strategy as quickly as possible to reap the benefits. You’ll have a profound impact on the people you converse with and inevitably build some of the strongest relationships you’ve ever had!